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I love romance.
I particularly adore those swoon-worthy heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, knee-knocking moments that leave me breathless in a good way.
In our reality T.V. world where romance seems to be more about shock value than the sanctity of what God intended, it’s refreshing when books and movies get it right.
By “get it right,” I mean we don’t see the couple jump in and out of bed before marriage because it’s the popular/accepted thing to do.
We don’t see John and Lilly in a heated embrace with a dozen detailed descriptions of what’s going through their minds. (Let’s be real. We already know! The challenge is staying Christ-focused while acknowledging the beauty of the blossoming courtship.)
Romance between our hero and heroine needn’t portray body parts and mechanics. Real romance is intimacy, yes, but more than that, it defies the physical aspect. While real romance is aware of what happens beyond the bedroom door, it recognizes, too, that chemistry is a byproduct (albeit an important one) of the deeper relationship.
As a woman, I want to know what’s going on in the couple’s hearts prior to any intimate encounters. (Yes—I realize men and women are wired differently, but this isn’t a post about that.)
Because I’m a Christian I’ve chosen to write Heartfelt, Homespun Fiction. My views are based upon a spiritual framework.
I realize what I like, write, or watch on television isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, just as I don’t mind telling you that I’m not into Rated R scenarios with no purpose.
I say “with no purpose” because I think we should be careful when rubber-stamping something as unworthy simply because of personal taste.
What do I mean?
Well, gratuitous lifestyles and depiction of sin (with no redemptive value) are distorted viewpoints. And stories and movies that are built upon lies are contrary to God’s will for our lives.
In other words, I think repentance, forgiveness, and restoration must be part of the bigger picture. Without those, the “message” is merely graphics and dialogue. No purpose. (Keep in mind, I’m referencing romance here.)
Speaking of romance, have you caught any of the made-for-T.V. Hallmark movies yet? I don’t watch much television, but I always enjoy their Christmas movies this time of year. A few of the plots seem a bit contrived and the dialogue a little cheesy, but many of the movies are very sweet, and oh so sigh-worthy.
Besides the nostalgia of Christmas, I think the stories are the biggest things that make the movies likeable. And for romance fans, happy endings are a must. (Let me add, too, if I’ve sat through a two-hour movie, I don’t want the ending to be rushed. I like to see the plot unfold as the story ebbs and flows. If the producers leave only five minutes to tie up all the loose ends, I feel cheated.)
So…
What do I find romantic?
Well, for starters…
- That glance across a crowded room (yes, it works for me)
- Tokens of appreciation (think simple or handmade)
- Acts of kindness (preparing a meal, washing a dish or two)
- Chivalry (opening a door, assisting with a coat, pulling a chair out)
- The linking of hands
- The soft brush of a kiss
- Words of affirmation (“I love you,” “You’re special,” “I believe in you”)
- Terms of endearment (honey, dear, darling, princess…ahhh!)
- Sharing a sunrise
- Strolling at sunset
- Encouragement
Lest I sound like a broken record, these things are important in relationship-building. If you doubt me, guys and gals, try some of them!
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
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Romance…Do books and movies get it right? (Click to Tweet)
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If you enjoyed this post, you might like:
Why Does Romance Make Women Swoon?
Why Real Romance Matters in an Artificial World
What’s your idea of romance?
Do you have a favorite romantic book or movie—one that’s a keeper?
Blessings Always,
Comments 4
I think we frequently get it wrong – partly because there’s too much emphasis on describing how the characters feel. Some degree of introspection is fine, but I find it much more effective when the emotions animate physical gestures and dialogue.
It keeps the experience more universal, and allows the reader more identification with the character, through the ability to imagine the character’s thoughts…it avoids the “Well, I would be thinking that!” reaction.
Favorite romantic movie – definitely “Notting Hill”. The chemistry between Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts is wonderful. Second is a tie; “Letters to Juliet” and “You’ve Got Mail”.
Author
Andrew, You’ve Got Mail is one of my favorite movies—great story with such a sweet crescendo. I’ve not seen the others, but I’ll put those on my “to watch” list.
And I agree, sometimes actions speak louder than words. (We just don’t need to see rated R scenarios to “get” what happens.) I hope producers will one day catch the vision for more wholesome movies—both on television and the big screen.
I think it depends on the TV show and the movie. But I love your list of what you find romantic. I’m a fan of subtext flirting. Ah sigh!
Author
Jess, I wish viewers could weigh in on the types of movies and shows we’d like to see. Might boost networks’ ratings, who knows?
I’m a huge fan of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Loved the plot, the family and faith elements. Though tame compared to other movies, I think the brief bedroom scene wasn’t necessary. They could have used the “flirt factor” more and kept that out, I think. Or… married the couple first. =)