Why Does Romance Make Women Swoon?

In today’s culture of instant everything, a lot has changed. The way we eat. The way we shop. The way we read, write, and romance.

What?

The way we romance?

Yep. (I’m going there today. I hope you don’t mind.)

I’m not talking about the fifty shades of polka-dots kind of romance. (Because passion without love is lust.) I mean the good, ol’ swoon-worthy, heart-racing, knee-knocking, mind-blowing kind of courtship that we used to expect and appreciate in committed relationships and marriages.

At the risk of sounding like a dinosaur, you be the judge. Consider these two contrasts:

Contrast 1… A twenty-something couple carried their trays to the table across from mine. The food court was crowded and noisy that day, but I observed plenty and heard snippets of telling conversation. (And I tried to make my taco last as long as I could while taking mental notes for this blog post.)

A gentleman the young man was not. There was no pulling out the chair for his girlfriend or offering to take her tray. And forget the silverware she dropped. He barely batted an eye. (Okay, this was the food court, I know. But still… Lack of chivalry and manners reveal a lot about personal character and  can foreshadow potential problems down the road.)

“So, how do you wanna celebrate your birthday this weekend? Hope you’re not expecting too much.” And in went half-a-slice of pepperoni pizza.

No smile. No teasing tone. No tender glance. No romance.

(REALLY?! I wanted to thump him. If I’d been his mom, I probably would have.)

Her face fell. Her shoulders drooped. She tried to recover with a nervous giggle, but her eyes and body language spoke volumes. His words crushed her.

In eight seconds he communicated:

 I hope you have a plan because I sure don’t.

Your special day isn’t really all that special.

Don’t expect me to go out of my way to make it so.

“Um…I think I’d like to go to dinner and a movie.”

“Ohhhh, no. Not some chick flick?” He reached for her hand then. “How about drinks and dancing instead? And then…we’ll just see from there.”

(DITCH HIM. Ditch him NOW.)

She nodded. “Okay.”

NO! NO! NO! I wanted to shout. It isn’t ‘okay’. Nothing about the way he treats you is ‘okay’.  Besides being a rude, self-absorbed jerk, he obviously has another agenda. And it’s NOT romance. Don’t confuse his holding your hand with God’s best for you.

Contrast 2… (The same day) At the coffee shop in our mall, I studied another couple. As they stood in line waiting to place their order, they linked hands.

“Have I told you today how much I love you?”

(Ahhh. He had my attention. And he had hers, too.)

“Only about a dozen times.” She smiled and leaned in closer to his tall frame. “You’re so romantic. I love that. And I love you.”

I watched them over the next 30 minutes or so. (All in the name of research, of course.) He was attentive, receptive, and affectionate. He made no secret of his feelings for her. Midway through their lattes, he got up for a chocolate chip cookie. He broke it apart and then handed her the biggest piece.

“For my princess.”

Oh. My. Stars.

Swoon! Swoon! Swoon!

But the best part? It came a few moments later.

“You have a few crumbs left on your mouth. Here–let me get them for you…”

And so he did. As he feathered a soft, lingering, little kiss upon her lips.

Goodness gracious! I almost melted into an ooey, gooey puddle right then and there. I wanted to whip out my notebook, phone, something to record the sweetness, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow and immerse yourself in the moment. I didn’t want to break the spell.

There was nothing inappropriate, nothing unsavory about the kiss. But I knew I’d always remember it.

He didn’t just tell her she was princess. He treated her like one.

So, why does romance make women swoon?

• It makes us feel cherished.

• It makes us happy.

• It makes us feel we’re worth it.

• It says “I care.”

• It communicates love.

Romance isn’t about things. (Although little gifts are nice once in a while!) It’s more about the gesture. For instance, my husband doesn’t drink coffee, yet he always makes a daily pot for me. He carries our Bible bags into the church on Sunday mornings. He never fails to kiss me as he leaves for work. Easy-to-assembles and honey-do’s? He’s on it.

Romance, I think, is God’s way of loving on us through others.

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Do you think it’s possible to have a (committed) relationship without romance?

What are some romantic things that your spouse or special someone does for you?

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Additional posts you might like:

Why Write Faith-Based Romance?

Broaching Sex Within Christian Fiction

TWEETABLES:

What women want the most in a loving, committed relationship… (Click to Tweet)

Is romance necessary in a (committed) relationship? (Click to Tweet)

Photo Credit: auzigog/Creative Commons

Have a great weekend! See you next Wednesday!

Blessings Always,