Today I wanted to talk a little about balance.
Whether you write or not, more than likely you spend much of the day wearing several hats and juggling many balls. There may be fires to put out and others to start. There are appointments to keep, deadlines to meet, places to be, and e-mails to answer.
Now, if you happen to be a writer and you work from home, the scale just shifted a bit.
Last year when I signed with my agent, the fabulous Mary Keeley, my day-to-day routine changed dramatically. In a good way, but still it changed.
Other than a few years’ hiatus due to family illness, I’d been writing for a lonnng time. Years. Decades.
I’d established long-term and short-term goals. I wrote daily. I studied the craft, took workshops, and participated in various writing organizations. My skills didn’t develop overnight, nor did I have any illusions that my publication journey would be an easy one. It’s been fun, but the writing journey is work. Hard work. Sometimes back-breaking work. Think bottom-plastered-for-hours-on-end-in-a-chair-kind-of-work.
What changed after I signed with my agent was this:
- I grew serious about my craft. Moreso than I was already. Now that I was agented, my thoughts shifted to the next goal. Publication.
- I developed a schedule. I learned new meanings of the word “disciplined.”
- My leisure activities and “me time” diminished. Though I still schedule “down time” to avoid burn-out, those days and moments are a little more limited now than they used to be.
- I honed a new skill. The art of saying “no.” As in, “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I’m unable to attend that function, etc. at this time.”
I found that when I started approaching writing as a career, that’s when the lightbulb suddenly turned on. If I didn’t take it seriously, how could I expect others to do the same?
For those of you who write from home, you well understand what I’m talking about. To put it bluntly, there are more demands than ever on our time. Now, not only do we have a family to care for, household chores to complete, errands to run, and church & school functions to attend, there are additional obligations, as well. Those that come with a full-time career.
Those things aren’t bad. But they are time-consuming. And they do require some planning, patience, and perseverance. They require a schedule. Sometimes we may have to deviate from our schedule because unforseen things happen, but we must at least try.
Some things will have to take a back seat. That’s just a given. Each person will have to decide for himself/herself what those things will be.
And an additional word here–sometimes, there may be awkward moments. Family and friends won’t always understand your logic or reasoning. Their full-time careers are outside of the home. For many folks, they still associate being home with leisure time or time off.
To them, it may seem perfectly natural to call and expect our undivided attention for an hour just to chit-chat.
On a typical work day, we may be asked to babysit, wash a dog, meet for coffee, or attend Sally Sue’s piano recital.
And since I live in the Ozarks, the friendliest place on this planet, we Ozarkians rarely meet a stranger. It’s in our nature to go out of our way to help our neighbors and demonstrate brotherly love. We may be asked to do things you wouldn’t even guess. (Like the time I was asked to host a baby shower. On three days notice. For a third baby. By the expectant mother herself.)
My point is, we all have to decide for ourselves what balance is, where to draw the line, and which boundaries are negotiable. It takes some of the stress out of the equation when we know what our own limits are.
We can strive to be Christ-like in our daily walk while remembering that we still have a job to do.
And it doesn’t mean that we’re being un-Christian when we politely, tactfully, and firmly say, “I’m working just now. I know you realize how that is.”
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How are you choosing to be proactive with your time?
If you write, what has been the biggest schedule adjustment for you?
Photo Credit: Zan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Comments 8
I went through a similar change when I received my offer of representation and learned that I needed to rewrite a major portion of my story. My writing became my job in a way it hadn’t been before. The demands on my time intensified again when I received my contract. My plate is full, and balancing it with all that’s on it can be a challenge at times. I reminded myself just yesterday that dealing with all the to-dos will get easier with time. Like you, I have to say no to some things, and that can be tough. But I can’t do it all. Superwoman I’m not.
Author
Keli: I’m with you. I’ll leave the red cape to someone else. I’m a born people-pleaser, and I truly do love serving in a variety of ministries, but sometimes the Lord calls us to new work. And writing is OUR ministry.
Jess: I adore your sense of humor! You’re so…candid. In such a refreshingly honest way. You boldly verbalize what many of us are thinking.
Sarah: It’s difficult for some people to accept that “no” means NO. Once folks become accustomed to the fact that actually we mean what we say (in a loving way, of course) I think we’re respected for our stance in the long run.
” For many folks, they still associate being home with leisure time or time off.” That and if we aren’t actually making money at the moment, then how can it be considered work? UGH!
I’ve been saying no to stuff for awhile. I actually love the shocked looks on faces. Rarely do church people say no, so it’s kind of like, “Did I just hear you correct?”
Yes. Yes, you did. LOL
I’ve been good at saying “no” in the past, but I’ve found myself going through a “yes” phase for a while. Now I’m realizing it’s time to practice that “no” word again. Thanks for the reminder, Cynthia. 🙂
We used to have our own business and worked from home. At that time, I think there were four employees besides us, in our house, and our young daughter. Other family members didn’t understand why we weren’t always available.
To answer your question about writing and schedule conflicts…I haven’t figured that one out yet. I like to write in the wee hours of the morning. Apparently, the rest of the world runs on a different schedule! I envision myself living the life of a hermit in a little log cabin in the middle of a forest.
Author
Patti, lately I’ve found myself saying this more often, “I’m working now. I’ll be free to talk at _____a.m. or _____p.m.”
Unless it’s an emergency, family/friends wouldn’t call us to chit chat at an office building, so why should a home office be any different? It’s never my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I’ve had to be tactfully blunt on more than one occasion.
I can relate to your writing schedule; inspiration doesn’t always strike when it would seem most logical.
You, a hermit? Never! (Not unless I can join you!)
Great thoughts here, Cynthia. I’m with Jessica, above. I’m not sure when I learned to say no, but I think it was when I joined a homeschool co-op. Co-ops are GREAT things, but very demanding for moms who teach. So I had to say no to excess activities. Sometimes I felt I was one of the few moms in church who’d say no to leadership positions. I just didn’t WANT them. I didn’t have time to do them and homeschool my kids the way I wanted to.
Right before I was offered representation, I had to revise my MS (dialogue tagging! AGH!). I tried to set a world record for editing to get it back to my agent-to-be. I wanted to show him I was a serious writer.
I plan to do the same thing if I ever get a contract. I want to be as prolific as I can be for as long as I can. So maybe writing is the ONE thing I CANNOT say no to…hee.
Author
Heather, prioritizing can be tricky stuff. I’ve certainly gotten better at it over the years, especially as my writing demands have increased. I’m less afraid of saying “No, thanks. I’ll have to pass,” than I am of taking on one too many responsibilities and resenting them.
And when you get your publishing contract, I’ll be one of the firsts to cheer you on!