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Don’t you just love being around happy, positive people? I know I do.
Unmotivated, negative folks sap our energy. They steal our joy and put a dent in our day.
If we’re constantly exposed to attitudes of discontent, our own attitudes begin to reflect the same.
Because by nature I’m a helper, I tend to want to “fix things.” I want to solve the problem or at least make things better.
The reality is that some people and situations can’t be “fixed” by us. We have to move past the notion that our bags of fairy dust will work on all individuals. God has to direct those folks’ paths and we may or may not be part of that equation.
Many years ago, I was in a writing group with a woman I’ll refer to as Jackie.
Jackie was, to put it bluntly, a sourpuss. Nothing ever suited her. The refreshments weren’t her taste. The speakers held no appeal. She didn’t like the color of the meeting room.
People in our group began to avoid her. She’d developed a reputation. And, obviously, it wasn’t the kind that spoke softness and light.
I remember thinking on more than one occasion Well, at least she doesn’t sit near me so maybe I’ll never be in her line of fire.
One Saturday, I ran a wee bit late to my writing group. Thankfully, there was one seat left when I arrived. It was a great spot next to the speaker’s podium. Right next to one of the refreshment trays. And smack dab next to Jackie.
Jackie greeted me in her usual happy-go-lucky fashion as I slid in the chair beside her.
“Hope they send in another pot of coffee. We’ll need it to stay awake for this,” she whispered, loud enough for me and several others nearby to hear.
I cringed.
Our speaker that day was one of our local authors, a beloved teacher, and a friend to all. (She’d not yet returned from the Ladies Room, so blessedly, she didn’t hear Jackie’s cutting remark.)
Throughout the presentation, Jackie made a habit of glancing at her watch, fiddling with an ink pen, and even doodling on her notepad. At one point, she sketched a mighty fine line up of cartoon characters–on the front page of the speaker’s handout!
I tried to avert my gaze and concentrate on my own sheaf of papers, but I was completely mortified. What if Annie Author happens to glance over the podium and sees Jackie’s handiwork?
I didn’t want the speaker to judge the whole lot of us by the insensitivity of one.
Though that never happened, at least to my knowledge, my attention was diverted the entire time by Jackie’s antics. To this day, I don’t remember much of what the speaker said. I believe her presentation followed her handouts, so maybe I didn’t lose too much.
The irony that day was this: At the close of the meeting, Jackie quickly gathered her papers, and leaned around me to whisper to a fellow member, “You know, you can always tell when people don’t have enough fun in their lives. It resonates in just about everything they do.”
I couldn’t have agreed more.
If we’re to live the kind of fun-filled life that God intends, I believe it’s necessary to:
- Develop a positive life-philosophy. One where negativity rarely shares the limelight.
- Be proactive. Think like a winner.
- Practice patience. Recognize perspectives differ.
- Realize lightheartedness is a choice. And sometimes, we must dispense with the persimmons.
******
Can you recall a “Jackie” circumstance?
How do you make life fun?
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Blessings Always,
Comments 6
A fellow I once worked with was a ‘Jackie’. He had a negative take on almost everything, and though he was a skilled colleague and a basically gentle soul, I avoided him. He brought me down.
Then I learned that he had chronic nephritis, and would be on high doses of steroids for the rest of his life.
His brother was dying of throat cancer.
He didn’t tell me. Someone else did. This guy didn’t want pity, but he was carrying, alone, a burden that would have been intolerable for me.
So I hung out with him, and tried to be positive, but gently. We became friends. He ended up marrying his brother’s widow and becoming stepfather to the kids, and moving…I was the only person from work he invited to the wedding, and who he asked to help with the move.
Was he still a sourpuss? Sure.
But he was also my friend.
Author
Andrew, how wonderful that you were that friend! God obviously used you to minister to your “Jackie” in a very special way.
I’ve known folks who have battled tremendous odds and still manage (surely, by God’s grace) to maintain a positive outlook despite dire circumstances. Certainly, they have every reason to be sourpusses.
And then I’ve known others who feel “entitled” while experiencing every advantage life has to offer. To my knowledge, the “Jackie” I spoke of had nothing that would predispose her to such a negative mindset, but then again–sometimes what we think to be true is a skewed reflection of what’s underneath.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Great stuff, Cindy. I spend a good chunk of my day with a team that includes someone who is pretty negative. She’s an awesome person and a ton of fun, actually, but her initial outlook is one of negativity. She says she can’t help it. And I find myself sometimes having to force myself not to slip into the same mode. Because I see how it affects her…and yet, I often think to myself, someone doesn’t just end up negative. I think she had a rough childhood…it makes me sad.
Author
Melissa, chronic negativity can suck the life right out of our day. And dealing with it in the workplace day in and day out has to be especially hard. You’re probably right. Like in Andrew’s situation, there’s probably more than meets the eye and it is terribly sad.
I went to college years ago with a girl who was rude, crude, and lacked social graces. She so desperately wanted to make friends, but she was always such a Downer Debbie, other students avoided her. I ached for her. Later, I discovered her mother died when she was only a youngster. Her dad remarried less than a year later and never spoke of her mom again. I believe that impacted her more than what anyone knew, and it forever cemented an already fragile ego.
(On the other hand–I’m always taken aback by lack of common courtesy, as was part of “Jackie’s” problem. Perhaps, that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish! Lol)
I know you’re a positive light to your coworker. Possibly the only one she’s ever had…
Love the idea of dispensing the persimmons.
I have a bit of a “glass half empty” personality — but I want to be a “glass overflowing” kind of gal.
A friend of mine once said, “There’s always something int he glass!”
His comment made me laugh at loud — and totally changed my perspective. I remember that truth — and repeat it — to this day.
Author
Beth, I’ve had to let go of a few persimmons in my life. Not for lack of trying to sweeten them up first though! =)
Love your friend’s wisdom– “there’s always something in the glass!” Yep. How true!