We’re born into this world defined by someone else’s perception.
From the moment we make our grand entrance, labels are thrust upon us based on who we are born to, and not who we actually are (a child of God).
As we age, things shift a bit. Additional factors are thrown into the success/failure pot. We become known as Sally Sue, the best speller in first grade, or Johnny Paul, the boy with head lice.
Initially, we come to believe who we are because of who others say we are.
A five-year-old doesn’t yet have the same cognitive skills as a fifteen-year-old. “Success” to the small child whose family lives on a fixed income might look different from his classmate’s point-of-view whose dad is a neurosurgeon.
Success to Johnny Paul might be: clean socks one day out of seven. A new Trapper Keeper instead of a ten cent notebook. A pat on the back for today’s C instead of cold indifference to yesterday’s F.
Years ago I had an acquaintance in college. “Cassie” was socially backward and other students often went out of their way to avoid her. Because of how she was raised, her lack of social graces, and inability to make and keep friends, she believed she was a failure. I lost track of her after I graduated, but I believe Cassie went on to meet with some measure of success from what I understand. Her career choice within a helping profession led me to believe she’d come to view herself differently. I’m happy about that and I’ve wondered what turned the tide for her. (I speak in the past tense because, sadly, I learned that Cassie passed away several years ago.)
Of course, social rank and familial circumstances influence our self-esteem and perception of who we are, but others’ beliefs don’t have to determine what we are to become. We get to choose! (Philippians 4:13)
Some folks may have mentors to come alongside them and offer encouraging words, while others are influenced by naysayers and negativity. I find it heartbreaking that there are those who would rather feed their own egos than bestow affirmations, but that’s a sad reality in today’s me-me world. I don’t think it’s a new concept; I think it’s more openly displayed now.
How then do we strive to be different? To rise above those who tear down?
Here’s what I believe:
- Failure is a preconceived notion not endorsed by God.
- It’s a mindset of the enemy.
- It steals our joy.
- It limits our possibilities.
- It influences our effectiveness.
- It cripples.
- It kills.
- It is a lie.
- Success, however, is God-ordained.
- It’s goal-focused belief in all things possible.
- It sees beauty.
- It prompts growth.
- It draws others.
- It sustains.
- It rescues.
- It’s the Truth.
So often how we respond to or evaluate others may be based on our own insecurities and imperfections.
I wonder how different the world would be if we sought to encourage instead of condescend. Applaud and not patronize. Share with no agenda.
We must decide on our own which path to seek.
But never
ever
should we believe that we are beneath, not as good as, or less than the Sally Sues of this world.
We may be at different stations in life.
We may have different directions we’re pursuing.
We may even know a little more than others on the same path.
But we all have it within our own power to be a success.
And to share the ride with those who don’t yet know how to harness it.
Thank you, Jesus.
*****
Who’s influenced your success?
What words of affirmation will you speak to someone today?
******
September’s blog drawing winner is: Patti J.
Congratulations, Patti!
Please contact me with your mailing address so I can get your prize in the mail.
Stay tuned for details about my October giveaway! (And remember, today’s comments count toward October’s drawing.)
Photo Credit: Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Blessings Always,
Comments 12
My dear friend, “Jane” has always given me a word in due season and our worship leader told me some great advice: “Surround yourself with those who will celebrate you and ignore those who won’t.” Meaning my dream not ME personally. You get it. And my pastor’s wife gave me a letter she wrote when she came back from a retreat, at the time she had no clue I was writing but she said, “I don’t do this often, but I know God gave me these three words to give you. Dream. Believe. Proceed.” I have hung on those words for years!!
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Jess: I remember when you blogged about that note. It was as if God revealed His personal affirmation that you were to proceed. What a blessing when God appoints those who can encourage us here on earth!
Keli: Your Gwnly is earning quite the reputation. How blessed you are indeed.
Melissa: You’ll never know how timely your devotion/message was for so many, including me, at ACFW. I believe God really moved that day. And I think you definitely have the gift of encouragement.
My husband is a constant source of encouragement. Gwynly believes in me and tells me so often. I’m blessed, and I know it. =)
This is just wonderful, Cindy, and reading it made me realize how much I take my parents, grandparents, friends, mentors for granted. From such a young, young age, I’ve had people encouraging and supporting me, building me up and affirming me. I’m so thankful for that…and I want to be that for others!
Eric is at the root of my success. We’ve been a team since day one…I couldn’t do anything without him.
Really enjoyed this post, Cindy.
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Loree, isn’t it wonderful to have supportive husbands?!
Your description of “Cassie” described me at that age. I hope I’ve overcome some of that! My hubby has been the one to encourage me since the day we met. He’s a keeper.
Thanks, Cynthia!
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Patti, so glad your husband’s “a keeper.” Our spouses can be such tremendous support systems.
Cindy, the timing of this post correlates perfectly with what we talked about at my mom’s group this morning. We discussed how we fall into the trap of labeling ourselves and how unhealthy that is. God sees so much more in us than we often see in ourselves.
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Sarah, yes, you nailed it. So thankful that God grants us discernment during times of doubt.
You are such an encourager, Cynthia. Each of your blog posts is filled with uplifting words and themes. Thank you!
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Beth, delighted!