Rise Above the Pettiness

A few years ago I told you about Jody.*

Jody was a sweet girl. She had beautiful blue eyes, a kind smile, and a warm heart. She liked sugar cookies and the color green. We weren’t particularly close friends, though we often shared the same lunch table.

One day, just as I set my tray down, another classmate tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hey, Cindy, none of us are speaking to Jody today, okay? So when she comes, ignore her. Pass it down…”

Jody approached the lunch table then, tray in hand, blonde ponytail bouncing. What had she done to merit such pettiness?

It didn’t really matter. Lover of the underdog that I am, I refused. “No. That’s silly.”

Chain broken.

My classmate shrugged her shoulders and resumed eating.

Though I never discovered Jody’s shortcoming, whatever the oversight was, it cost her conversation and companionship with a select group of girls.

To this day, I remember the pinched expression on Jody’s face. The way her shoulders slumped and her countenance fell.

“Misguided priorities,” I quipped. “Don’t worry about what others think.”

Jody nodded and poked at her food.

The long-ago memory surfaced last week as recent events played out in the news.

“Bullying” wasn’t a term used decades ago. Though there was the usual teen angst and girly drama, true bullies were rare. At least in our little school.

Still, intentional harshness and deliberate actions had the ability to wound. And to those with fragile egos, a simple stare-down could cripple one’s resolve.

Fast forward to today. Today I think we need a little lesson in “Friendship 101.”

Maybe it should be a required class in addition to Algebra, Biology, or Language Arts. Our educational system could call it Fearless Friendship—The Art of Making and Being a Friend.

While that seems almost laughable, I really think it’s a novel concept.

Sadly, in some homes, life skills just aren’t taught. In other instances, living situations are less than ideal. Horrible, even. (Having worked in a helping profession, that’s actually putting it mildly.)

Courteous treatment of others isn’t naturally inherent. Children must be taught at a young age things like diplomacy, respect, loyalty, and trust. In other words—how to be a friend.

I love meeting new folks and making new friends. My husband often jokes that I’ve never met a stranger. I like to talk and listen to people. I find their stories fascinating.