Ladies, Is Your Love Language a Fishing Pole?

If only the gentleman at the sporting good store knew he’d be the subject of a blog post, I wonder if the anniversary gift for his wife might have been different.

I bet not.

Here’s why: he had the look. Ladies, you know the one I’m talking about. The one that says (quite unabashedly) It’s all about me.

And, lest I offend any gentlemen readers, it wasn’t just “the look” that spoke silent volumes. It was the back-and-forth banter and chuckling between Mr. Romance and the easy-going store clerk that cued me in.

 

“Going to do a little fishing, I see,” the clerk commented as he rang up the eye-fetching rod, reel, and state-of-the-art tackle box.

 

“Well, actually that stuff’s for the wife. It’s her anniversary present.”

 

“Oh. She’s going to do some fishing then?”

 

Mr. Romance laughed soundly. “Nope, buddy. Not yet. She hates it…but she’s gonna learn to love it.”

 

The two men eyeballed each other knowingly, sharing a great melding of the minds.

 

“Ahhh. Riiiiight. Gotcha, man!”

 

More snickers and knee slapping.

 

“Yeah. Only the best for my beloved.”

 

I tried to avert my gaze as I breezed past the two rocket scientists. (And I’m sure the tip of my tongue had bite marks on it from where I’d resisted the urge to add my two cents.)

 

Over the years, I’ve wondered about the wife who was the recipient of the beautiful, brand new fishing pole, and I’ve tried to imagine how she must have felt when her husband presented her with his selfless token of esteem.

 

Had the poor woman really learned to love fishing the way Mr. Romance claimed she would? More likely, he’d gotten better use out of the snazzy rod and reel than his wife had. (Oh, and I forgot to add that he’d also joked about buying a new boat that day. To “cure the wife of her seasickness.”)

 

At first glance, I’ll admit, this scenario might seem a tad humorous. Except–EXCEPT–the motivation behind Mr. Romance’s anniversary gift was just so…so unromantic. Self-serving. Thoughtless. Weasle-like.

 

When a man slaps down three hundred and seventy-nine dollars and eighty-two cents for fishing gear (to give as an anniversary present that he really intends to give himself because he knows his wife will hate it), something’s wrong.

 

But then, that mentality in today’s world shouldn’t surprise us. Our perception of romance has become skewed over the years because we’ve let society convince us that self-love comes before selfless love. We’ve let television determine our moral barometer, why not our perception of romance, too?

 

Not to sound prudish, but as a Christian and as a woman I’m offended by “this is what I must do to earn your love” scenarios, and worse, this is becoming the “new normal.”

 

Maybe our spouse’s “love language” is a fishing pole. It’s not mine, but if it’s yours–wonderful! Different strokes for different folks. I had a friend that used to say in all sincerity to her husband, “If you really love me, then help me clean our toilets.” That was her love language. And in that case it totally made sense because that’s what she needed from her husband to feel cherished. Validated. Loved.

 

Of course, since I write inspirational contemporary romance, you might have guessed that I let the apostle Paul’s definition of love (1 Cor. 13:4-8) guide me as I plot. I have that passage of scripture highlighted in my Bible. It’s beautiful and captures perfectly the essence of what God intends for us.

 

And I might add, I never once received a fishing pole for my wedding anniversary. My husband knows better.

 

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What’s your love language?

What’s the most romantic thing your spouse has ever done?

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I’ll be taking a blogging break on Monday, but please join me again Wednesday

when I’ll be reviewing author Nikki Arana’s The Next Target. You won’t want to miss it!

Photo Credit: Sharron Goodyear/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 Blessings Always,