I recently chatted with someone who was very discouraged about the direction her writing seemed to be taking.
After writing for 25+ years, “The process,” she said, “has begun to take its toll.”
We talked at length about the path to publication and I asked her what her current goals were.
“Well, they’re the same as they’ve always been. I want to snag a to-die-for literary agent and land a six figure book deal. I don’t think that’s too unrealistic. Do you?”
I carefully gauged my response, because I wasn’t entirely sure if this lovely soul was kidding. She wasn’t.
Hedging a bit, I applauded her for her perseverance. I then asked her a few more questions:
- “Are you still a member of XYZ writing group?” Her answer: “No. The members weren’t very helpful. All they wanted to do was to critique my work.”
- “Do you have someone else that reads your manuscripts–someone who edits your work or offers you feedback?” Answer: “Are you kidding? And have my work plagiarized before it’s even published?”
I measured my words carefully, trying a different tack.
- “Have you received any advice from agents or editors regarding your work?” Her response: “Of course. And I haven’t taken a bit of it. It’s all so subjective you know.”
- “Do you read any agent/author blogs or stay abreast of industry/publishing news?” Answer: “Oh, I try. But really, who has that much time? I know most of the stuff already.”
- “What are you doing to be proactive about a writing career?” Answer: “Well, I’ve written for 25 years! I have umpteen manuscripts waiting to be published and I have tons of experience under my belt. Need I say more?”
No, not really. I’d already heard enough of her story to know that unless this sweet woman changed her thinking, she would most likely remain unagented, unpublished, and unfulfilled as a writer.
My heart broke for her as she prodded, “Well, it certainly took you long enough to get an agent. I guess there’s still hope for me.”
I nodded, empathetic to a point, but mentally noting the differences between us. This is what I had done differently than she had:
- I joined writing groups/organizations. I learned from others.
- I used a critique partner. Her discerning eye was crucial.
- I took comments and suggestions seriously on every manuscript that I had returned. It made my work better.
- I stayed abreast of industry news. That was common sense.
- I made writing friends. To go the process alone was unthinkable.
- I spent tons of time networking. It got my name out there.
- I remained humble. Learning and sharing were never above me. I freely admitted I didn’t know it all.
I wanted to be a bright spot for this dear lady, to somehow offer her a word of encouragement. I wanted to tell her that anything was possible with God, but that she also had to shoulder some of the responsibility.
Our Heavenly Father is more than willing (and oh, so capable) to give us steak to dine on, but we must first pick up the fork and knife to eat it with.
I shared my heart with this fellow writer, and she seemed to grasp what I was trying to tell her.
“You mean I have to work some more?”
I nodded.
“Well,” she paused, “I’ll think about it.”
I knew she would. Think about it, that is.
******
Have you ever had an awkward moment when dispensing writing advice? If so, how did you handle it?
Comments 18
an intersting blog. I too am a writer who really really wants a book of my children’s poems to be published but it’s not goin g to happen —- not in the short term. I have been writing seriuosly for the ten years since I’ve retired and have had many children’s poems published — in magazines and anthologies but not in a book.. i h\ave now joined a writing group and that is helpful
Author
Never say never, John. The key is to be intentional. There’s a huge difference in being proactive and remaining stationary. It sounds like you have a great deal of knowledge and experience and that you’re taking those to the next level. Writing groups/organizations are great resources because they encourage us to learn, share, and grow.
Thanks so much for visiting! Blessings as you forge ahead!
Cynthia, I admire your caring heart and your desire to help your friend. Sadly, those unwilling to accept the counsel of others have a much harder time in life.
The steps you listed work. I’ve done my best to follow all of them. One of the results was becoming friends with YOU, and that’s been a real blessing.
Author
Keli, thank you for your kind words!
It’s a difficult situation to be placed in when the other person is resistant to change. I still anguish over the conversation, but truly, her mindset is closed. (And social media? She sees no “real need” for it!)
This is a great post with a wealth of information. I once was that kind of writer who didn’t need a critique partner or a writer’s group. I thought I knew it all. Boy was I in for it. I stuggled and struggled. I’ve learned so much as I really started studying the craft. I’ve also learned so much from my piers and critique partner. They can see what we can’t.
I agree we must always stay humble.
Author
Loree, when I think how far God has brought me in my craft, I’m nothing short of amazed. We’re bound to grow when we’re open to learning. I’m looking forward to reading your book one day!
I have been in a similar circumstance. It is difficult seeing someone’s
potential and a way for them to reach it, but that person is unable
or unwilling to see that path for themselves. All you can really do is
pray for God’s will to be done in their life and to open their eyes to
what they should do.
Author
You’re so right, Tanya. And I do believe God has a way of preparing us for victory by allowing us to go through seasons of drought–in writing, as well as in other professions and life in general.
Another great point you made: prayer for God’s will.
Cynthia,
How true this is. I’ll be praying for your friend.
My hubby and I have this long-running joke, that “no one will be coming to our front door, begging for my manuscript.” I HAVE to get myself out there, as well as my manuscript, for other eyeballs to critique/read.
Though I’ve only been on this writing journey a couple years, I’ve definitely met a fair share of non-writers, people who are kind, curious, but naive about the loooong, arduous process to publication (to be fair, I was the same way 3 or 4 years ago). I’ve heard – about a dozen times – “oh great, now you can get it published!” – after sharing that I wrote a book.
I just try to have grace-filled words while explaining that it’s really not that easy to get published. Now, it mostly makes me smile. 🙂
Author
Wise hubby, Kerry! And yes, non-writer friends mean well, but it’s difficult for them to understand the writing process and what the path to publishing fully entails. As writers, if we’re serious about our craft, then we must put ourselves “out there” and that means taking risks and working hard. And you’re well on your way to becoming a published author one day!
I hope your friend takes your advice to heart, and finds fulfillment as a writer.
Author
I pray that as well, Patti.
I agree! The world is full of blessings, but taking responsibility is key. It’s a partnership with a higher power that leads to creation – we can’t expect results without effort. I’m glad you navigated the waters with questions, and not statements – I found they’re more effective that way. And thank you for listing YOUR successes – because being reminded of them is useful to me! Best of luck on your journey…
Author
Yes, Kellie, the idea was to plant some seeds regarding ways this sweet soul could be a bit more proactive. I’m only too happy to share what I’ve learned (and am still learning). I think we all benefit when we discuss what’s worked for us and what hasn’t.
Thanks so much for your kind words. Blessings to you on your journey, as well!
ps…I would argue, though, that we bloggers are ALREADY published. Sometimes it’s a shift in thinking that gives us new perspective and positioning…
Author
Absolutely!
hey Cynthia: remember a few days ago I was complaining about not being able to find inspiration? but guess what? I found it or it found me. I wrote a good poem I’m really proud of; if you get a chance drop by and have a read
Author
I just jumped over, John. I think you have indeed found your “inner fish.”