How to Tame Your Inner Comedian and Still Make Friends

Photo Credit: Lynn Kelley/Creative Commons

Ahhh. Comedians. Don’t we just love ’em?! (Except, of course, when they embarrass, bluster, or spout jokes that really aren’t funny.)

I had a different post planned for today, but after a recent experience, I switched thoughts midstream.

Here’s the setup:

I like to smile, laugh, and encourage.

I’m a people person.

I like to talk, do, watch, and listen.

I’m real, I rarely mince words, and I care about the ignored and undervalued.

That being said, it should be noted:

I’m not a prude, but I am a Christian. First and foremost.

I appreciate clean humor and a generous dose of levity.

Off-color jokes, rank words, or soiled meanderings don’t interest me.

I will be kind—almost to a fault—but the buck stops when behavior becomes offensive and overbearing.

I think by having an open demeanor that can attract some oddness from time to time. (My husband teases me that I have an invisible bullseye on the middle of my forehead. One that says, “Here I am. Overwhelm me with your brilliance.”)

Yesterday, I stood in the check-out line and unloaded my groceries on the conveyor belt. I thanked the woman ahead of me for kindly placing the plastic divider after her items.

“You’re welcome. Glad to do it.” She smiled and we chit-chatted a few moments before she turned back to the checker.

The gentleman who appeared to be with her stepped around the plastic bag turnstile and moved toward me.

“The grandmother. She-a been verrry sick, you see.”

I paused over the remaining things still in my shopping cart. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. She no do it. She no do it for a lonnng time.”

I thought he was referring to grocery shopping.

Wrong.

He moved closer and leaned forward—into my personal space.

And then Mister Wanna-be Comedian tossed out another stream of nonsense (in his fake Italian accent) and laughed.

But he didn’t stop there. He was revved up and ready to go. The naughty “joke” seemed to go on and on and on—until I cut him off midway through.

“Would you like to know Jesus?”

I didn’t rush the sentence. I enunciated every word and syllable with deliberate, spot-on precision.

It felt like a Holy Spirit kind of moment.

(Later, I realized that I’d never seen someone’s jaw drop so fast. I thought that only happened in the movies.)

As if shot out of a cannon, the man retreated to the far end of the check-out aisle again and grabbed for bags that weren’t quite full yet.

What I also wanted to say if he’d hung around:

“You look very trendy in your gray and black sweats with matching cap and neatly trimmed beard. Almost like a nice fellow. Why mess that up with trash talk?”

“Dirty jokes don’t make people (especially strangers) like you. It reveals ignorance.”

“Never invade folks’ personal space right-off-the-bat. Your perception of friendly isn’t funny. It’s nauseating. You’re lucky I have a strong stomach.”

I might have also offered ways he could tame his inner comedian and make some (real) friends:

Naughty words say a lot, but intelligent words speak volumes.

Reality T.V. doesn’t teach you how to be a gentleman. Get some manners. And ditch the fake accent.

You might be funny one day, but right now, you haven’t arrived yet. Give it time. Buy a dictionary. Learn new words.

Some folks find salty language offensive. Try substituting “How are you today?” and see what happens. They might really tell you and you could make a friend.

Assume you might be speaking to a Christian. We’re not prune-faced fuddy-duddies, but we’d rather talk Jesus, sports, or tacos than let our minds wander where they shouldn’t. Respect yourself and us.

And if you want to make friends, remember… first impressions are everything. Don’t overwhelm us with your perceived brilliance. Give yourself a starting chance!

A parting thought (as the couple paid for their purchases)…

I could only shake my head as I overheard the clerk…

“Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.”

The woman ahead of me blushed. “Thank you. I suppose I’ll keep him.”

Hmmm.

***

Any additional tips on how to make and keep friends?