Finding Your Prince and Kissing the Toads Goodbye

Gee whiz, is it just me or has society’s perception of romance become more than a bit skewed?

I don’t know about you, but I’m worn out with television programing these days. Not to sound prudish, but when something is touted as a “romance” on T.V. I expect it to deliver; I don’t want to see unflattering portrayals of what networks purport romance to be. As a Christian and as a woman, I’m offended by “this is what I must do to earn your love” scenarios, and worse, this mindset is becoming the “new normal.”

I believe young women today are confused by the in-their-face innuendos and by the seemingly subtle jabs at their subconscious with regard to love, romance, and morality.

As youngsters, our daughters are read the classic Cinderella believing that someday their handsome prince will come. (And it’s interesting to note, that some of these little girls are raised in non-Christian homes without any clue as to who their spiritual prince is, yet still they believe.)

As little girls, we tend to believe that romance is hearts and flowers, gentle hugs, and tender kisses. As we mature, we still want to believe that (I think) to some degree.

We come to realize that romance and love and all that they entail are not perfect in and of themselves. We understand that because we are human, humans fail from time to time. Still…does that mean that the Lord would have us deny His best for us? To sacrifice? To kiss a few frogs along the way, or worse, settle for that nasty, ol’ toad?

For those women still searching for their handsome prince and, perhaps, feeling just a tad disillusioned, then this post is for you today! Here are some encouraging thoughts:

God wants the absolute best for you! It’s true. He really does. You don’t have to settle for the crumbs. You don’t have to choose yesterday’s leftovers. Heck, you don’t even have to glance in your grandma’s pantry if you don’t want to! To put God in a box that way only stifles His ultimate will, plan, and purpose for your life.

Define romance. Define love. They should mesh. It wasn’t meant for us to receive one without the other. As I write about love, I often think of the apostle Paul’s definition of the word: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor. 13:4-8) NIV

Determine your “goosebump factor.” Make a list of those things you find romantic. Is it opening a car door? Flowers unexpectedly? A tender kiss beneath a star-filled sky? Or perhaps it’s the mundane that causes your breath to catch: an evening meal prepared, a freshly mowed lawn, or a lightbulb replaced. Your “GF” might not be the same as someone else’s. Don’t gauge how you think romance should be by assuming someone else’s ideals. Decide what’s really important to you. Consider compromise, but never ditch your morals or your belief system for what society tells you romance should be.

Obviously, romance is near and dear to my heart, otherwise I wouldn’t write about it.

To recap, these are the reasons I write faith-based romance:

• Unions founded upon Christ have even greater accountability.
• I get to tackle real-life issues while applying biblical principles.
• I’m able to share the salvation message as my characters’ stories unfold.
• I can create romantic tension and gentle love scenes WITHOUT incorporating X-rated views into the bedroom. 
• I don’t have to curse or use foul language just for the shock value.
• I demonstrate faith in action.
• My stories are appropriate for teens through adults.
• I control the consequences of my characters’ choices. In other words, sin + repentance=forgiveness (but not without consequences). Sin + rejection of Christ=eternal darkness.
• I get to dispel the myth that Christians are cardboard cut-out, panty-waist do-gooders. (We’re just real people trying to muddle through life like everyone else EXCEPT that we have a loving Heavenly Father who picks us back up when we fall down.)
• My novels have HAPPILY EVER AFTER! (After all, I do write ROMANCE.  And as I’ve said before, I’ll gladly leave the murder, mayhem, and sordid endings to someone else.)

There are princes to be found, both in “real life” and in the books we write. We may create a few toads on paper, but we can kiss them “goodbye” in our fictional worlds.

And who really likes toads anyway–be it in the stories we pen or on our own doorsteps? They might be somewhat appealing in a rather odd sort of way, but then again, they might just give us warts!

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What’s your idea of romance? Care to share how you found your prince?

Can you think of a movie or television series that does romance well?