12 Reasons Not to Sweat the Small Stuff

In Monday’s post I talked about the writing journey and things I wish I’d known sooner. As a follow-up post, today I wanted to share some reasons why we shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.

An e-mail arrived in my inbox shortly after my original post went live on the ACFW website last October.

A fellow creative lamented:

You say not to worry about the small stuff and someday you’ll make a list of small stuff you used to worry about. I’d really like to know what you mean by small stuff. I was moaning to my husband yesterday about how sometimes it’s overwhelming–don’t use these words, take out those, use stronger POV words, don’t use adverbs, show, don’t tell, cut, edit, and so on. I told him I’m afraid to write anything because I might not do it right. And if I cut everything out, I’m afraid I won’t have any words left, not to mention lose my voice, whatever that it is. He told me not to worry about it and just write the way I feel led. Sometimes, the effort of trying to do everything right is stressful. So please, tell me what I shouldn’t worry about–I need stress relief!

Ahhh! I could so identify!

I sensed her frustration. I wanted to pat this dear soul on the back and say, “Chin up. What you’re feeling is totally normal. We’ve all been there at one time or another. It’s going to be okay.”

But I didn’t say that. It sounded too flimsy. Instead, I wanted to offer concrete advice with detailed examples.

This is, in part, how I responded:

I can empathize. As writers, we’re often told to ‘follow rules.’ While I believe that’s true to a degree (especially for newer writers), I think sometimes, ‘rules’ can be broken. Of course, it’s a given to use correct grammar and do the things you mentioned, but don’t get overwhelmed by it.

I included these thoughts and I’ve since added a few others to come up with this list:

12 Reasons Not to Sweat the Small Stuff

 

1. Perfectionism kills creativity! Write first, edit later. I used to be such a perfectionist in my writing, I found my creative efforts often stymied by my inner editor. Stopping at every “ly” word, etc. to correct and over-think is a time-buster. I do much of that later in the process now, and I wholeheartedly recommend “Find & Replace” in MS Word. Such a time-saver!

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 2. Constant upset isn’t good for your health. Don’t stress over finding a dozen critique partners. A “dozen” different personalities don’t work for me. I’ve chosen a few select folks–some who are farther down the road than I am–to work with.

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3. Polly Populars aren’t really all that. Say “no” to the numbers trap. Yes, some cool creatives may have 100,000 “followers” on Twitter or several hundred (maybe thousands, too) on FB. I don’t worry about the numbers game as much as I do the “connection” with like-minded folks—fellow writers,  readers, believers, and kindhearted, fun people. Larger numbers are more important in non-fiction, but fiction not so much. (And it’s ridiculous–and dishonest–to buy fake connections.)

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4. It’s not rocket science, but forewarned is forearmed. About the writing process itself–yes, it would be nice to “write what we feel.” Unfortunately, because of the publishing downturn in recent years, we must be realistic. I believe it’s possible to write according to our calling and to the market. In other words, I try to focus on the area God has gifted me in, yet I also stay in tune to what’s selling in today’s vast sea of change.

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5. Don’t worry about losing your voice! There’s only one you. Once I hit my groove and realized not everyone would like what I write, it was actually freeing. Of course, we want editors to like our work, and ultimately, publishers to buy it. What I mean is–give yourself permission to “be you.” See if a pattern emerges. That’s “your voice.” You won’t lose it. It’s intrinsic, but you have to develop it.

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6. Everyone fumbles. Even the so-called experts. If you make a mistake–own it, admit it, and move on. We’re human. We’re going to make faux pas. I used to lose sleep worrying about saying the “wrong thing” or doing something awkward. Not so much anymore. (Maybe that’s the beauty of the aging…er…maturation process.)

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7. No question is “dumb.” I’ll always remember how I felt when I asked the question, as a new, green-faced writer, “What is a synopsis anyway?” One of the writers in my writing group looked as though I’d just landed from Mars. “Are you kidding?!” It’s silly (and un-Christian) to disparage folks in front of others. I don’t stress out over asking questions now. That’s smart. It’s how we learn!

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8. Not everyone has a designer wardrobe. Really. It’s okay! I was heartbroken when a writer-friend confided, ” I don’t think I’ll join any writing groups or go to any conferences this year. I shop re-sale and I’m afraid I just wouldn’t measure up.”  Okay–here’s the thing–I always shop the sales. Always. I’m a sucker for bargains. It’s all in the pairing of a few nice essentials with a handful of quality pieces. We want to look presentable, and of course–professional (especially at a conference), but what matters is the writing. Not a $400 Coach handbag.

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9. You don’t have to be the next Hemingway. (Thank goodness!) Concentrate on your genre of interest, hone your skills, and strive to be the best you can be at your craft. I respect a lot of folks’ work, but I don’t want to be them.

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10. About the social media train… don’t jump on every car available.  No one can do it ALL–effectively–and live to tell about it. Choose a few creative outlets you’re interested in, be consistent, and give it all you’ve got. If something doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to re-work your plan. Over the last three years, I’ve pretty much remained at a 2 to 3 day per week blogging schedule. I have a Facebook page where I connect with folks, and a Twitter account. I’d love to do Pinterest, but I simply don’t have the time to add another thing to my plate just now. It doesn’t mean that my interests won’t change again one day.

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11. So what if you don’t know all there is to know! Most people don’t. (See #7 again.) I’m just a simple gal from the Ozarks who loves Jesus, adores my family, and gets a kick out of writing. I put my socks on the same way as you. I know how to turn a phrase, but  I have trouble with back story. I cringe when I see  my earlier work. That’s good though. It means I’ve grown. Not gonna sweat it. 

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12. Not everyone’s a natural-born storyteller. Most folks must work at it. When I realized that, a whole, new world of possibility opened up. And I understood the true value of art isn’t just in the finished piece, but even in the effort expended. That’s what sets visionaries apart.

Now…something for you to think about…

 

Doesn’t that cherry pie look deelish? Makes your mouth water, huh? And notice–it’s not quite perfect. I doubt anyone cares.

See?

Don’t sweat the small stuff!

Don’t allow fear to paralyze you! That’s your biggest inhibitor.

You’re your own person with unique gifts, talents, and strengths. Use those to your advantage–and, of course–to God’s glory!

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What do you sweat?

How do you quell your inner naysayer?

 

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Stymied by all the rules and regs? 12 reasons why you shouldn’t sweat it: (Click to Tweet)

Need some stress relief? A list of 12 things you shouldn’t sweat during your writing journey: (Click to Tweet)

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Blessings Always,