Original Image Credit: PublicDomainPictures/Pixabay
One day, “Barb” approached me. She smiled as she dusted pretend lint from my jacket.
“You’re really a people person aren’t you?”
I wasn’t sure where this was headed. Barb and I were acquaintances, but not close friends.
Was she being complimentary or was there some hidden meaning behind her remark? I got odd vibes as she brushed at my jacket again.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
The smile never left her face. Something foreign flickered in her eyes—something I’d never seen before.
“Like moths to a flame,” Barb laughed. “You attract folks. Naturally, even. Must be nice being so real.”
Okay. Now she had my full attention.
“Well, thank you for the compliment, Barb. I think.”
“Oh, that wasn’t a compliment. Just an observation. You seem to like people and they seem to like you. And you don’t work at it, do you?”
That in itself was telling.
Barb was a fake.
I’d always suspected as much, but I thought (hoped) I’d read her wrong.
I skirted her question. “If you have to work at liking others maybe it’s time for a change.”
Her smile faded. Her demeanor changed.
Icy reserve.
This was a different side of Barb. The side, I’m guessing, people rarely saw.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She glanced at her watch, making a point. “Wow. Gotta scoot. I’m being nominated for club president.”
Yes, I knew that. Everyone did.
“Congratulations. That’s really an honor.”
“Uh huh.”
She was half-way down the sidewalk when she turned in mid-stride. “Hey, great jacket, by the way. Red’s your color. Looks just like the one I took to the campus resale shop. Glad I was able to give to a worthy cause.”
To this day, I can still see the bounce in Barb’s step and hear the clickety-clack of her boots against the concrete as she meandered on her way.
Instead of feeling small, as she’d intended, I felt sorry. Sorry for her. Sorry for the burden she carried.
I’ve never been good at facades. Maybe that’s why I’ve always thought it easier to just be me.
I don’t race to keep up with the “Barbs” of this world.
I try to practice Galatians 5:22-26. Because I’m human, sometimes, I fail.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.”
(Galatians 5:22-26 KJV)
When we’re comfortable with who God created us to be, there’s no need to be artificial. We recognize that we’re all unique individuals with equally unique talents.
Fake people may pull the wool over our eyes for a time, but sooner or later, the truth comes out. The fiber of who they are unravels when the weight of expectation becomes too much.
On the other hand, when we’re real, it liberates us.
- We make the conscious decision to say to the world, “This is who I am.”
- Being authentic doesn’t give license to rudeness.
- It doesn’t shame others into feeling less than.
- Being authentic owns its emotions, yet acknowledges others’ strengths.
- It frees us to extend the same grace that God grants everyone on a daily basis.
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ENCOURAGEMENT TO SHARE
The key to liberating ourselves from the weight of expectation.
Who are you—Really?
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS YOU MAY ENJOY
How to Stay Motivated Despite Chronic Complainers
Don’t be Daunted by Dream-Crushers
Top 10 Characteristics of a Joy-Bearer
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What’s the biggest stumbling block that prevents people from being themselves?
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Much Love and Many Blessings,
Comments 2
Interesting change-of-pace post – I liked it.
I think that what prevents most people from being authentic is the fear that they won’t be liked for who they are…and if they lose there, they’ve essentially risked, and lost everything.
Building a synthetic personality removes some of the risk; it’s like armor, and if it’s damaged it can be swapped out for something that’s more effective.
It’s hard to blame folks for this, because there are a lot of people out there just looking for weak points to pick at, so they can, for fun, undo a person. The academic world was full of them, and it’s one reason I don’t miss it.
Author
Andrew, I think as we mature we’re less inclined to wear the facade. (And oh, how freeing that is!) It doesn’t mean we forget our manners or risk our integrity. Being authentic allows us to move past those comfort zones that mask-wearers find so debilitating. I will say, too, being “real” is a process—kind of refinement by fire. Again, a maturity that doesn’t happen overnight.
I think you’re right—there are those who take pleasure in needling others. It’s sad and it hurts, but I believe they’re the ones whose self-esteem is in tatters. And really, we wouldn’t want to trade places with them for anything, would we?